I am annoying.
I present this to you as fact, because I am fully aware of it.
I will go out of my way to annoy people, because I find it amusing.
Particularly if I can get away with annoying my parents.
The last time that I did this in a major way was last week.
My dad is doing some pub-guide book, and so he has a list of pubs he needs to go to. One of these is the very lovely Waterfall Hotel at Glen Maye.
The drive down was fairly uneventful. My brother was playing up, so I let him have one of my earphones and we listened to Doctor Who soundtrack. We occasionally had a little chat about said programme, but on the whole, it was quite dull.
Then we got to the Waterfall. Because we were early, we decided to go for a walk in the glen.
I like glens. They are full of tools of annoyingness. And when I am in an annoying mood, which I was, it is like all my Christmases have come at once.
I set Michael off on a race. I had no intention of running myself, but I knew that if Michael ran enough he would kick mud up onto his trousers.
Which he did.
The river runs out onto and through the beach. So what better game is there than to get Michael to stand on the edge of the river and chuck stones as close to him as possible in order to try and get him splashed?
Throwing stones as close as possible to my dad.
Orchestrating things SO CAREFULLY that soon it is just dad and Michael throwing stones into the river, trying to splash each other, while I laugh evilly and watch at a safe distance while they both pick up bigger and bigger stones.
Though, playing with Michael can sometimes be a chore…
So I made up a song.
‘Have you ever hugged a cow?
Let it moo in your little ear?
Looked into it’s big brown eyes?
I sang this song over and over and over and over.
Mum and Dad did not join in.
I picked seagull.
And suddenly, there were NO frickin’ seagulls to be found.
Not to worry though. I decided to try and attract them.
By getting my brother to make seagull noises.
Much MUCH louder.
We needed to sound like seagulls that had found food.
This involved us making seagull noises and occasionally shouting ‘Look! Toast!’
Fortunately, I had one trick left up my sleeve.
I needed Michael to sound like a seagull in pain.
Unfortunately, my brother didn’t know what a pained seagull sounded like.
So he just started screaming.
While flapping his arms.
It was epic.
No one could get him to stop.
Until he saw a seagull.
For some reason his brain failed, and mixed up the game with his previous actions. Instead of going:
(Added bonus - when I started writing this post, I couldn’t remember the words to the cow song so I had to ask Michael. And he hasn’t stopped singing it since then. YES!)
(Added added bonus - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2onR1vwQgNE