Monday, December 27, 2010


Hellooo people,
First off - sorry for the lateness of the last post 'Christmas Walk', which is below this one.
I decided to sketch it all up so I knew what it would look like, and it turned into a 30 picture epic.
You would not believe how long it takes to draw these crappy drawings!

Second - I am having a few of days off from doing the blog.
I have cramp in my hand and I'm going to do other things that don't involve me hunched over the laptop making faces.

I'll be back on thursday or friday!

In the mean time, enjoy!

The Christmas Walk

On Christmas day, just like we do every year, we went for our Christmas walk.
This year we went to the sawmills near St Johns, as I have been asking to go there for ages, and I think my parents were getting fed up of my constant childlike nagging.

Therefore, when we were on the way, I was very excited.

And by the time we arrived I was quivering with energy, which I desperately needed to release, and quickly.
I also found that there was fresh snow on the ground. Endless fresh snow.
With no dents or footprints in it.
This *had* to be rectified.

Once I had destroyed as much snow as I wanted, my attention was diverted elsewhere.

I was unstoppable in my quest, to the point where, even when my brother was down, I started to kick snow in his face.

This was when my brother decided that he was going to die.
He was cold and he was wet and I had filled his wellies with snow.
The next load of snow that flew his way was the catalyst. With an Oscar-winning performance, he keeled over. It was like something out of a war movie. He started to crawl away, every so often stopping to look up at me and our parents to make sure that we were indeed witnessing his demise.

I got bored so I went to kick some snow off a bridge.

Soon I was competing with myself to see how far I could kick it.

And I won.

Because I'm a winner.

Then I made a snow angel. Big mistake.

There I was, lying on the floor, when suddenly my brother starts kicking snow in my face. I thought I was actually going to die.

He wouldn’t stop.
I rolled onto my side, so he moved round to that side and continued.
Eventually, I struggled to my feet.

Then I picked my brother up and chucked him in the snow.

Because I am a:


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Boxing day

In honour of boxing day I am going to write about an old box I used to have.
This box was my ‘shiny box.’
It was basically a cardboard box which I had stuck a lot of tin foil to. And in it I started to collect anything that was shiny or glittery.
I was a magpie for pins, milk bottle tops and old, probably dangerous, bits of metal I found on the beach.
Any meal time which involved metal cutlery was a winner in my book.

Now, lots of children collect things. Lots of adults do it too! But I was less discriminative than most. Anything with the slightest bit of a gleam would be stuck in the box.
This is how I found myself with an ever growing collection of dead beetles and flies in one corner.

If I saw something shiny or something that had glitter on it - I had to have it for my box.

Around the same time I developed a penchant for licking things I found attractive. This did not stop at food. Anything and everything that caught the attention of my little tiny mind was liable for a good licking.
Something about the way they shined made me want to know what they tasted like.
I was small and it was seen as harmless, if not a bit weird.

Fortunately I have since grown out of this phase, as I’m fairly certain I would have been arrested many times over by now.

Though it would have been TOTALLY worth it.

(Twilight reference for Hana Jo, my first follower - who is featuring my blog on her youtube video.)

Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!

New face book fan page!

For the actual story plog post keep going down. It's below this one.

This is just a quick thing to let you all know about the new facebook fan page and how you can help spread the word.

Go to facebook and type in the blog title 'exacerbation of the situation'

This should come up -
Or, if you just type it into the search box ad hit enter it should come up as the first on the results page.

Clicky clicky!
Then spread the word!
Invite all you think would enjoy the blog, and some you don't.

Consider it my christmas present ;)
Lots of christmassy love!

Unwanted Visitors

This past week I have had a useless and unwanted visitor. He arrived out of nowhere and has made me feel awful and ugly ever since he arrived. Fortunately he is now dying. And I am watching his demise with eager anticipation.

His name is Ulcer.

He grew last week on the inside of my lower lip, and has been causing me misery ever since. He has been so prevalent in my life this past week that I stopped referring to him as ‘the ulcer’ and he became just ‘Ulcer.’
I considered for a time setting up a bank account for him and getting him a national insurance number. It seemed like Ulcer was here to stay.

He decided to set up in a place where he would cause the most pain to me - right where he would rub against my tooth whenever I spoke or moved or breathed. It was like he was punishing me - but for what I did not know.

He was a nuisance, but I was just about tolerating him. After all, he couldn’t stay forever.
Then I woke up to a hideous surprise.
For some reason, his little bastard brother had decided to visit and hang out next to him. Instead of shrinking and leaving he was multiplying!
That’s when I started to spiral into a ulcer induced depression. Fear started to set in.
Would my ulcer ever leave?

It felt huge already - when I looked in the mirror I could tell that it hadn’t affected my face on the outside.
But I *felt like the elephant man. In my head I looked like this:

I would walk down the street wondering whether people could tell. I would worry that my face was slowly expanding.
And now there was another ulcer! Ulcer Jnr had come along, and it looked like he was here to stay.
There was only one way this could go.
My elephantine face was going to get worse.
Before long I would be carting my expanding ulcer-face in a bucket.

But what if it continued to grow? I’d need something bigger.

Then no one would ever love me. I’d be hideous. I could never have a boyfriend, or get married. I’d have to share my bed with Ulcer! There’d be no room for anyone else.

I was in effect DOOMED to a life alone. With noone but Ulcer for company. I’d go mad. I’d start thinking of Ulcer as another human - my Siamese twin.
I would be Tom Hanks in Castaway.
My first ray of hope came yesterday. Ulcer Jnr was no more.
Over the course of the day Ulcer seemed to be fading. Perhaps he was pining for Ulcer Jnr, or maybe he just knew his time was nearly at an end. This morning he looked terminal.

I anticipate that he will be dead be the end of today.
Just in time for Christmas.