A plea, from me to you.

Dear readers/lookers at pictures.

I know you are there. I know it.
I know it because I have stats I can look at, and I can see how many people have looked at my page and where they are from. And people in CROATIA are looking at my stuff.

I love making this blog. I love it. It has become an obsession as well as an outlet for the crazy that lurks in my brain.
And people have told me that they like it too! Lots of people.
It makes me happy.

Then I look at the bit of my blog that tells me how many comments I have...

And then I look at my followers...

And I notice that one of them is me.
And I get a bit... sad....

Lovely readers, please leave a comment if you like the post.
It would make me so very happy in my face.
Even if it just says 'well done' or 'I liked that. It was good.'
If you do that you never even have to tell me to my face.
You can even hit me when you next see me!
Just please leave me a little comment.

If you have twitter please follow me on there. If you have a blog, please follow me.
If you have neither of these things - create one and follow me!
(Twitter takes two minutes to set up, and you never even have to use it afterwards.)

And now for the emotional blackmail...
I love you all very much.
Will you please love me back?

Ps. I would like to thank the follower who is not me - Hana Jo. Hana, you make me smile.

Please pick a topic you would like my brain to try to write about. :)

A Public Service Announcement

Today I am blogging on a serious issue that affects how I live my day to day life.
This issue is one that fills me with despair every time I think about it, and the fear is crippling.

Zombies are real.

I know what you’re thinking,
‘Oh no! Zombies! I’m going to die! I am going to be eaten by the walking dead! They will pull out my guts and feast upon them. The streets will be overrun by corpses wandering around. My children are all going to be chewed on by the deceased! My children’s children will never be born because WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!’

But don’t despair! Because zombies are not walking the streets and attacking you or your children! Phew!

But now DO despair because the zombies are attacking us FROM THE SKIES! And they are not going to rip open your stomach, they are going to CONTINUALLY BUMP INTO YOUR LIGHTBULB AND TRY TO LAND ON YOU! AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!

Yes, the zombies of which I speak are moths.
Moths are nothing more than zombie butterflies.

Brown, papery, whispery, dead butterflies, that fall apart and turn to dust when you touch them.
Also they bite other butterflies and turn them into moths too.

The rumour is that moths are another species, but I am exposing this as a fraudulent claim.
Moths are ZOMBIES! They are ZOMBUTTERFLIES!

‘So what should I do if faced with a Zombutterfly?’ I hear you cry.
The answer? One simple word….

‘Can’t we just remove the head or destroy the brain?!’ You ask me because you have watched too many films and think that you are an expert and want to sound clever.

You can! IF you want to go to all that trouble. Zombutterflies are fiddly fluttery little bastards, and spend a lot of time in the air.
So it’s fortunate that there are many different ways of destroying a Zombutterfly.
I have my favourite ways, though you might have your own.
As long as the Zombutterfly is no more, it doesn’t matter how it is done.

(For the pacifists - turn a light on in another room. Zombuterflies are scary, but also stupid. They will be attracted to the other light and feck off.)

Don’t let the ZOMBUTTERFLY trick you into pitying it by thinking it is just a deformed or ugly butterfly.

If they try to trick you, just say…
　

　
This public service announcement was brought to you by EXACERBATION of the SITUATION.

Wishes

Sometimes I wish I could stick to the underside of clouds.

I'd sit and smile and wave at people below me.
Sometimes I might drop stuff on them, but they wouldn't be able to do anything because I'd be too far away.
If they tried to throw something up at me, I'd move up to a higher cloud and laugh.
It would be amazing.

Until it rained. Then it would be terrible.

Cam Troll

As of last night I am convinced that some kind of troll lives in my camera, and when I try to take pictures of a particular friend of mine, he jumps into the picture and messes up her face.

This friend that I have is utterly beautiful and lovely in real life. Honestly, she's stunning.

See! She even has nice words and arrows following her around so that the world knows how amazing she is.
But - my camera troll does not like her. Perhaps she is just *too* pretty for him.
I tried really hard to take a really nice photo last night, that did my friend's lovely face justice.

But the stupid cam troll would not give up.
The stupid cam troll turned my beautiful friend from this -

Into... well...










this...

To my friend - I am sorry. I think that eventually the camera troll got tired and went to sleep, because I managed to get a few lovely ones of her in the end.

But beware those who ask me to take their photo...
For a Troll lives in my camera...

My stupid brain

Most people get brain freeze when they drink or eat something too cold too quickly.
I also have this happen. But I also get brain freeze for no reason other than my brain seems to think that it should be cold. And, I don't know if you've noticed but brain freeze - it REALLY FRICKIN HURTS!
It feels like my whole head is exploding in agony.
This has been happening a lot, what with all the cold weather and the snow.
And I love the snow.
I love the snow, so there is very little that will stop me going out playing in it.
Which is what I have done a lot of.

And at first, my brain is just dandy.
Because my brain is me. And I love snow.

Then something happens to my brain. It starts to think like other parts of my body.
Mostly the external parts.

I can usually recognise what's about to happen. And I warn my brain. I warn it good.

Alas, by this point my brain has moved on to this -

And so I end up like this -

Because I have a stupid stupid brain.

Rats

I have two rats. They are utterly beautiful and I love them very much.
They get the occasional treat, but usually this consists of vegetables.
Nice nommy veggies.

The other day I open my advent calendar to get some nice nommy chocolates. For me.

 Yep. I chopped the chocolate in two and gave them each a bit.
Ratty Morry ate it. Looked at me. Decided that I had done the job that was expected of me. And went to sleep.

That is not what happened to Ratty Sherlock. Ratty Sherlock had a bit of a sugar high.

 Ratty Sherlock looked happy enough however. So I turned away for a second and decided that *I* wanted some chocolate. I opened my advent calendar again. (It's ok guys - I had a few days unopened because I suck at time keeping and punctuality.)

 That's when I heard the noise...

 Chocolate is clearly a bad idea for Ratty Sherlock. I have never been bitten by my rats, but the fact that my hands were near the source of all goodness made them an immediate target.

 I am not good at processing pain. My body tends to go into a kind of shock and I feel like I am dying. It felt like my hand had been removed with a rusty hacksaw. Not good.

 From now on - this is me.



Snow

Today I am spending yet another day snowed in.
I like snow. It's white and flufy and you can throw it at people.
But after a while snow gets a liiiiittle boring.

I have an overactive imagination and a low attention span.
This often results in sitations being blown well out of proportion.
Today my house looks like this -

In my head however, it looks something like this -

Yes. In my head my house looks like a tower guarded by a dragon.
Snow is essentially a fire breathing arse dragon, stopping me from going into town and looking at shiny things.

Therefore, in my head, I have become this -

Yep. That's me as a princess in the tower. Look how woeful I am - I need rescuing so I can do something that isn't sitting around looking cross.

This is me in real life...

I like the princess tower one better...